Step Up to the Bar Boys, The Ballet Bar

According to a recent article in Details magazine, the way to achieve that perfect male underwear model physique is the latest women’s workout craze called the bar method.

Think of the handrail used in a ballet class, and you’ve apparently discovered the key to a tight, toned body. The method, or workout, focuses on plenty of core exercises, including squats, lunges, and the occasional plie.

Always seeking another way to annihilate that extra inch of flab wrapped around my abs, I took full advantage of a special deal and signed up with my friend Jason for ten classes at Cardio Barre in Beverly Hills. We set out last Saturday for our first “beginners” class. The studio consists of one large carpeted room, with ballet bars on either side and two additional bars in the center of the room. As you might imagine, we were the only men in a class consisting of about 30 participants, but we were warmly welcomed and greeted with more eye catching cleavage than at a Hooters restaurant.

Class kicked off fast and furious with a series of squats, leg lifts, kicks, plies, and plenty of pointed toes. Within fifteen minutes, Jason and I were both sweating and already exhausted. My ass and calves have never been worked so much in my life. Next was a series of light weight lifts and curls, before we hit the floor for a few crunches and then an extensive series of inner thigh lifts, tucks and stretches. There were muscles in my body I never knew existed or ever flexed before. What I initially believed to be a core exercise class, quickly felt like the Vagina Monologues Workout, and let me just say, my vagina has a first name and it’s P-E-N-I-S. Ouch!

This was one intense workout, and the results seemed instant. After class, my ass, calves and thighs were as tight as Joan Rivers face. My backside literally rose about two inches and didn’t drop for days. If I keep this up, my ass will be in a whole new class, and more than ready for a close-up in my Calvins.