As far as weddings go, I was not impressed with this weekend’s Royal Wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. Sure, I thought Kate looked absolutely stunning and expertly elegant. And yes, William was clearly in love with his new bride (unlike his father’s first time down the royal aisle). Pippa was picture perfect, while Fergie’s daughters deserve a smack down for their hideous hat selection. And as for the other prince - Harry, well, he was indeed the “best man,” not to mention a hot piece of ass.
But where was the wow factor? The bouquet was small and understated; the train of the bride’s gown – modest; the ceremony - simple. Even the guest list was dull, although David Beckham does clean up very well. But where was the glitz? The glamour? You’re royalty people. Rub it in our faces; show off your wealth; make us all feel common and jealous. We want to escape into the fantasy world; we want an over-the-top experience, just like we had with Luke and Laura. Now that was a royal wedding.
Yes, I’m talking about Luke and Laura, the star-crossed lovers of the hit ABC soap opera General Hospital. Back on November 16, 1981 – 30 million people tuned it to see Laura Webber Baldwin marry her former rapist Luke Spencer. (Yes, you read that correctly.)
The ceremony was held in the backyard of a mansion set in the fictitious town of Port Charles, New York. (Viewers easily overlooked the fact that it was sunny and 75 in northern New York State in November – thanks to a California location shoot - to relish in this fantasy world.)
Laura’s dress was stunning, her veil elaborate, her bouquet bountiful. Luke wore an ascot and tux with tails. The guest list included Academy Award winning actress Elizabeth Taylor – on daytime TV! The event stretched out over two one-hour episodes. It’s was magical, elegant, heartwarming, and dramatic.
Shortly after the tear jerking “I dos,” Luke and Laura, much like royalty, were perched high atop a terrace of the mansion to address the throngs of wedding guests. Looking down upon their guests, they kissed for all to see. Then turning her back to the crowd, Laura tossed her elaborate bouquet over her shoulders only to be caught be her ex-husband, the adorable but now very angry Scotty Baldwin. (Clearly, Scotty had crashed the festivities, but as a viewer, I was thrilled by his return.) In a rage, Luke leapt over the edge of the terrace, scaling the wall in a furry to fight Scotty. As the men rolled around in the grass throwing punches, family and friends tried prying them apart in hopes of salvaging this most memorable wedding day. Now that’s a royal wedding I will never forget!